Do you know that feeling right after waking up from deep and sound sleep, often next day after heavy physical exercise, when for fraction of a second you do not remember what day it is, and everything what goes with it: what needs to be done, what is urgent, what should be done yesterday. Split second of warm and cozy bliss, moment of perfect existence that can be otherwise reached probably by hours of intense meditation - and then you remember - taxes!
My awakenings lately were not so good.
Now is the time for confession. I have given up. I am the most hopeless and sorry procrastinator I know. I stopped to be angry at myself. Now i am just sad. It completely preoccupies me, but I do not talk to my friends about it any more. It’s too boring, to frustrating, too sad. Instead I watch that procrastinating being in my head. I notice its ingenuity and stubbornness. I try to discover its logic, and find out what it feeds on. I try not to hate it. May be I will outsmart it one day. May be one day I will tame it. One day...